a twenty three years old office girl who still searching about who she is, what she wants to do and what she loves.

Saturday, 25 April 2015

people always leave.

it happens. to me.
it sucks at first, but im fine with all of them now.
and im happier.

so it happen first with the people i know the longest since i enter junior high school.
it just happen that im with her and we turned out to be bestfriend.
till the last year of senior high school, so basically ive known her for 5 years.
i broke up, and my ex is a bestfriend of hers.
then i turns out to being a fan of my junior. and i dont want anybody know it, except for my bestfriend.
so lavvejs know it.
then one day, i find out that she tell my ex about my junior and im kind of mad with her.
i wont get mad with her if she just tell me that my ex want to know he.
i mad because she cant be trusted. i disappointed, my bestfriend cant be trusted.
i dont talk to her till the last day of school, and i started talk to her again when lavvejs went to singapore but without her because she's busy with her tuition.
we gave her a shirt, so lavvejs have their own shirt.
yes, i still hang around her now, but i just cant talk about anything with her anymore.
so in the end, she's no longer my bf, she's just another friend.

then it happens again to my another girl.
i spend a lot of time with her, i cant even lie to her, because she know when im lying, when we're lying. she just like have a superpower to read our mind, lol jk.
after senior high school, we went to different university.
while i still stuck in north sumatara, she's now in east java.
she come to medan when she's in holiday.
its all fine at first and we decided to keep in touch.
first time she come home, we still hanging out together, 6 of us.
then the second time she come home, we still hanging out together, 5 of us.
then the third time she come home, we dont gather anymore.
she's going out with a, then b, then c but never together and i dont know why.
and that a, b, c dont invited d or e.
then she go back to east java.
hurts, but i dont want to think it any longer so yeah it all pass now.

and for this girl.
she know me pretty well, and we turns out to be at same university and same department but different class.
she was my bestfriend, my sister, and even my partner in crime.
we spend time a lot and talk about so many things.
then she came. i dont blame her for everything that happen, cause maybe this is just the way it be.
slowly, i dont became her bestfriend anymore, she is.
i dont became her sister anymore, she is.
i dont became her partner in crime anymore, she is.
i dont became the first person to know her problem and never know because she never tell me.
when 3 of us hang out together, they talk about things, forget that i was there and made me left behind.
they talked non stop, barely do they know that im dying a little.
slowly but sure, i dont hangout with them anymore.
i avoid hang out together.
i rather stay at home, alone then feel lonely.

xx,lili.


 


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Wednesday, 22 April 2015

take me away

went to the beach with elmi and julia right away after the exam.
i've been craving for some holidays and the beach just come across my mind.
nah so here are we, at pantai pondok indah.
the sound of the sea just take me away i dont want to go home hahaha

had so much funn, we laughed like crazy, take a lot like really a lot of photos and dont care what others see us, like ya the beach is all ours!

not going to campus till next monday, yea to days-off.

















"and in that moment i swear, we were infinite"


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Sunday, 19 April 2015

another hello.

life's has been so so boring and i decided to make a little change.
second year of university sucking all of my time, like all of them, i dont even get to having my me time.
journals, homework, exam is no end, for fuck's sake.
i miss the old time of mine so nah.

on my exam days now but i am too lazy to study, duh.
but hey, 2 more sleeps and my exam is done! and i am shooo ready for holiday.
i promise to myself to be more productive and not lazying in my bed and watch movies all dayy.
going to try new things such like yoga (i've been wanting to do this long long time ago), writing, reading and learn guitar and yes cooking too!
but ya ya let's see later cause i am lazy as fuck HAHAHA
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